


fill my mouth with your name

by artsycat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Small wedding, Wedding Fluff, armin officiates :), i mean really small, its basically just the ema gang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 14:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsycat/pseuds/artsycat
Summary: i will love you until the stars grow old; until the sun starts to fade. however, i will love you even then.





	fill my mouth with your name

on a day like this, mikasa misses her father the most.

the cool, night air enters her room, blowing away the faint light of the candle standing on her night stand. mikasa doesn’t think she’ll live through the morning. her heart is stuck in her mouth and her hands shake every time she goes to pick something. her stomach is a pool of nerves and mikasa thinks, _one step at a time, one step at a time._

a knock on the door and it’s armin, looking at her with a faint smile.

“are you ready?” he asks, his eyes meeting hers, and this time, mikasa doesn’t feel nervous at all. her hands become steady and her heart starts to beat slowly.

“one second,” she mumbles. she reaches for her veil, gently placing it on her head, careful not to ruin her hair which is held loosely in a bun. she looks in the mirror once more - and she thinks she might not be able to breathe. her scarf lays on the side of the bed, and mikasa wants nothing but to hold it, to breathe in it.

mikasa has always dreamt about this day. in a perfect world, she wears her mother’s wedding dress, and her father gives her away to her groom. the wedding happens outside of her family home, in the backyard where the morning flowers bloom with sunlight. everyone would be there, her friends, her family and music comes from the chirping of birds.

this, of course, is not a perfect world.

her dress hangs loosely on her, a soft, chiffon material which feels almost like silk on her skin. she doesn’t think she has ever looked this… this nice before.

 _‘you look like your mom’_ , she could almost hear the words come from her father’s mouth - his voice, filled with pride and sadness. his voice, gone from this world - never to be truly heard.

she walks out with armin before she can think anymore. when mikasa thinks about her mother, it has always been with a fond memory, and love spreading from her centre to the tips of her fingers. it’s thinking about her father that makes it unbearable for her.

‘ _look at our hands, mikasa. one day, yours will grow almost as big as mine.’_

she shakes her head. they’re outside now, and armin offers her his arm. they walk together, side by side, and the night is still dark - but the aroma is filling itself with signs of dawn. the crickets have quiet down, and the early birds start their wake. it’s cold out; the winter hasn’t really gone. she can still feel december’s cold air in the midst of february.

it’s quiet out. the forest is silent; almost solemn. and with every step, mikasa feels lighter; free.

when she see’s eren - see’s his back, to be put more accurately - she feels - calm. there are no signs of nervousness, no signs of light-headedness, no cowardice. her grip on admin’s arm relaxes, and suddenly, she is filled with immense joy. today, she weds. today, she is to be a wife. today, she will marry the only man she has ever wanted - the only man who could break her heart.

when eren looks at her - she can’t describe it. he looks at her like the first time; like it’s the last time. armin stands around them as he begins to officiate. she can practically hear his smile.

“ladies and gentlemen. we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of eren jaeger and mikasa ackerman in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

“before we go on, i would like to say something. eren, mikasa… you both are the most wonderful people i have ever known. you both deserve all the happiness from the world and i… wait,” she hears armin sniffle, and to her utter horror and well, a bit of amusement, a tear sheds from his eye. “you two… you two make me believe in a better world. i see the two of you together, and your love for each other is there. it doesn’t need a proclamation or a statement. anyone can tell, just by looking at the two of you… that you both will protect and love one another forever.”

her eyes meet armin’s and she smiles. her stomach is filled with nostalgia and sentiment and if she could, she would hug him right here right now.

“alright eren, your turn.” armin whispers, patting a hand on his back.

it’s silent for a moment, and the tidings of dawn approach - with twilight dusk spreading across the sky.

“i…” he starts, and pauses. he closes his eyes, as if in thought, and continues. “i am not good with words. at all. but everything i want to say can’t reach my lips at all, so.” a deep breath, a beat of silence. “the day we first met, i remember how terrified i was. i thought i wouldn’t make it, but then i saw you, and i had never… i had never wanted to protect someone as much as i wanted to protect you. that feeling has never changed. whenever i think about giving up, i think about you, and it makes me stop thinking. because, i think about you and it all makes no sense. i think about you, and all i can think about are my dreams.

“you make me want to live in a world that makes sense. you make me want to be better than i am. everyday i wake up a bit stronger, a bit faster, a bit smarter, and it’s all because of you. i want it to be like that forever. i want to be with you, now and forever.

"you were my first dream. before the ocean, before the survey corps. before everything. you are the goodness in me, mikasa. i don’t think i could ever thank you enough for that.”

he looks to the ground afterwards, head bowed, but she can see his eyes shining with unshed tears. twilight starts to fade, and the sun starts to rise. colours of pink, purple and orange paint the sky. he looks at her, and - she has always noticed the tiny flecks of blue in eren’s eyes, but today they stand out to her, shining bright with the morning sun.

mikasa can’t hold her tears anymore. they come down streaming like rain falling from the sky, and her heart is lost in the clouds, caught by him, the boy who is her home.

“eren,” she says, wiping her tears away. “till the day the sun grows cold, till the day the stars fade - no.”

mikasa stands up straight, looking at eren with so much intensity, with so much passion. and then she starts. “eren, i cannot begin to describe the love that i have for you. ever since the day you wrapped your scarf around me, you became the only person i ever wanted to be with. i look at the world around us, and it reminds me of you. the earth, the wind, the ocean, it’s all you.

“in a world of darkness, i found you. in a world of hate, i found you. in a world so cruel, i found you. i found you on a stormy day, and i loved you on a starlit night. you are my hope eren. i think of you in the times i can’t get up, and suddenly… i can do everything. you make me want to do everything. you make me want to live better, to love better. because of you, i find myself never wanting this world to end. for you, i would steal every ocean in the world.

“thank you, for being with me. for giving me purpose. and for forever wrapping this scarf around me, as many times as i want you to. as many times as i need you to. thank you.”

he holds her hand in his, and she looks at him and no one can measure the amount of love she holds for him. his eyes are glazed - not with tears, but with such immeasurable amount of love that it makes her want to fly off to the horizon, never looking back.

armin still sniffles and his voice is hoarse as he speaks. “by the power vested in me, i now pronounce you, husband and wife. you may kiss the bride.”

he reaches out to her first, and it’s soft and wonderful and sunlight pours around them. the air is full of february warmth and eren’s mouth on hers and it’s the beginning of spring. the oak tree stands tall and full around them, with sunlight filtering through the branches, dancing across their bodies.

her father’s words are imprinted on her soul.  _“i loved your mother because she made me dream about clouds dancing in the sky.”_

she understands now, dad. she understands what it means to be free. in the meantime, she lives.

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from one of pablo neruda’s works. also i dedicate this to @soullessvanilladolly @eien-no-tsuki and @drunkeremikatexts i hope u guys like it!


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